Posts tagged i love new york
Posts tagged i love new york

Earlier this month, I decided to go three weeks without drinking.
I didn’t have an embarrassing tequila-infused flameout. (At least not recently.) I’d just noticed that my relationship to booze was feeling slippery.
I’d find out friends were pregnant and my first thought would be How do they go nine months without alcohol? Or I’d aim to have no more than 7 drinks a week, but a friend would visit from out of town, or I’d stop by a party on Saturday night, and suddenly (as if totally out of my control!) that number was 12. Plus, I’m Irish Catholic and a writer, so the stereotype odds are not ever in my favor.
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i went to red book and it had nothing to do with ikea!
I worried that Red Hook would be so cool that I wouldn’t relate, because every time I read about the place (except for ikea and sadly, sandy) it’s about how some artist moved there to live in a loft and make sculptures out of MTA maps.
Sometimes trends scare me before I get to know them because (1) I am not a forward-thinking person, and (2) I feel confused when I don’t get them.
For example: five years ago, everyone in Williamsburg was wearing neon plastic sunglasses and I thought, why do I feel like I’m in a sci-fi movie? Why are they all being deliberately weird in the exact same way? I hate this! Then, a few years later, I bought some of my own plastic sunglasses and it was too late because I am a trend canary.
But Red Hook was A-OK. Eric and I had a great lunch at the Good Fork; that place alone is worth a journey. If delicious bibimbap on brunch menus is a thing, maybe I’m ready for the future. Also: possibly best biscuits ever? That’s a bold statement so I want to be careful with my words.
I do NOT recommend Red Hook if it’s your first or second time in NYC (lots to see in Manhattan), but it’s a great place to go on your third trip here, like if you travel for business.
The End.
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OMG what a confusing borough!
I made a cheat sheet so I could tell the neighborhoods apart.
Please send me your feedback, as I’ll be shopping this around with publishers.

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she says, I’m ready for more than 300 square feet.
That, and I’m ready to see the sky.
Today’s the day I move to Brooklyn.

1. If you say you live in Soho, people assume you live in a loft. They never, ever, assume you live in a 5th-floor walk-up with 300 sq feet.
2. If, on the weekend, you’re looking for half of Europe, you’ll find them on West Broadway.
3. The market for cupcakes and thousand-dollar handbags is limitless.
4. If you think you’re not prone to pedestrian road rage, you’ve never walked down Prince Street at 2pm on a Saturday.
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It doesn’t matter if you’re a big fish if you’ve got no pond…
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If you like beer, please enter through the little door.
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A POLAR BEAR IN A STROLLER

Yessssssssss
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I posted this picture minutes before I learned about Julie.
**
Colin did a screengrab of one of her tweets, which says it best. “People who think Twitter is stupid never woke up to sad news about the people in their computer and cried.”
Amen.
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I sent Eric a series of jackassy texts on Friday.
Here is proof:
Everyone always assumes that bizarre texts are a result of auto-correct. So I thought it would be a fun joke to deliberately send some oblique-but-possibly-real messages and escalate their weirdness. I figured Eric would have to know I was joking and hilarity would ensue.
That’s not what happened.
Is there a gene that makes you like dressing weird and taking pictures of yourself? Because if so, I have it. Happy 4th of July! Can’t wait to discuss the day at Coney Island and hear about yours! XO
Photo by My Future Husband.
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If “New York City” were a robot in a Michael Bay film, it would look like this.
(How do you like that aggressively counterintuitive title???)
Every time I reach a major milestone, I realize what I was doing wrong all those years of trying to get there.
Take college graduation. I’ll never forget sitting down to a breakfast bagel my last week of senior year, looking around my dorm’s dining room, and realizing, I forgot to meet all these people! I’ll bet most of them are cool.
Sometimes I think the most subversive thing you can do as a woman is to just be OK with who you are.
I KNOW, I KNOW, that sounds so barfy and faux-feministy. I hate anything that smacks of privileged women whining about our world.
Because of all the people who have legitimate beefs with Society, I’m not one of them. I should be talking about flex time and affordable child care. But I am going somewhere with this!
I am going to an anecdote.