citizen kerry

Someday i'm going to understand America. Until then, I have this blog.

73 notes &

My new motto, starting now. Anytime I want to squash an idea diplomatically, I’ll just point out its danceability. And then, to prove my point, I’ll throw in a bad, funkified two-step. 

My new motto, starting now. Anytime I want to squash an idea diplomatically, I’ll just point out its danceability. And then, to prove my point, I’ll throw in a bad, funkified two-step. 

Filed under memphis mitt Romney

88 notes &

Yesterday we went to the Peabody Hotel in Memphis to watch “The Marching of the Ducks.” This is a real thing—every day at 5pm the ducks march out of a marble fountain in the lobby, into an elevator that whisks them to the “Duck Palace” on the roof of the building. (More to come on this.) Not surprisingly, there is an amazing stash of duck paraphernalia in the hotel gift shop. Guess which one of these fowlbulous items I actually bought? (Hint: I’m always trying to make people smile when I do yoga.) (I mean, no I’m not, but I think this will help you guess correctly.) 

Filed under boxers

81 notes &

let’s give paula deen a year, y’all

I’ve been fascinated by the reactions from friends, celebrities, and other coastal liberals to Paula Deen, ever since her announcement that she has Type 2 Diabetes and is endorsing a medication to treat it. 

There seem to be two general responses to this:

1) That’s too bad—hope she uses her platform for good!

versus: 

2) That fat fuck finally got what she deserved. How dare she make us sick and profit from it?

Read more …

Filed under food paula deen rocksprings this is for you

104 notes &

7 things brady learned from a broken bone

Brady, aka, relovingit, posted a cool list about what she’s learned from being on crutches for almost two months. I thought they were good tips—for life, for health, and also for helping others in this situation—and wanted to share!

1) A slower life is a better life. Because I can’t rush, I don’t. I take my time getting out of bed, bathing, changing the laundry, making coffee, doing my work, reading my favorite blogs. I’m much happier, and I get more quality work done.

2) In the future, I will be a better friend. I was never very thoughtful before when people were sick or injured. Now I know how much a visit, care package, or ride to campus can mean. (Thanks especially to bimsk, foldedmaptravel, and dearworld.)

3) Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability. I’ve had tons of positive encounters with Chicago strangers in the last 6 weeks. And I made all kinds of friends in New Orleans and Siesta Key. (I was especially popular with the retirees.) When people can see that you’re struggling, they tend to be willing, even eager to help. Also, riding around on a scooter or hobbling on crutches is a great conversation starter.

4) Eat when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re satisfied. I was very worried when my injury happened that I’d gain a bunch of weight. Turns out, as long as I paid attention, I wanted much less food than I do when I’m at my normal activity level. I haven’t been able to weigh myself, but I haven’t noticed any visible changes, and none of my clothes feel any tighter. Your body just knows what it’s doing, I guess.

5) Sleep as much as you can. I’ve let myself get as much rest as I want in order to let the healing process happen. My stress levels have never been lower. 

6) Social services are critical. I’ve experienced firsthand a teeny tiny slice of what life is like for someone who lives with a disability. Amenities like wheelchair ramps, elevators, automatic doors, railings, handicapped parking, and airport escorts are really important, especially for those who aren’t going to heal in 10 weeks.

7) A body is not to be taken for granted. Like many runners, I used to be kind of cavalier about pain - considering knee tweaking and muscle pulls part of the package, even something worth bragging about. But for me at least, exercise is something I do to be healthy. I’m not winning any races, not making any money through running. I’m not doing myself any favors by treating my legs badly. When I get back out there this spring, I’m going to train more carefully, be more respectful of my limitations. Bottom line: If you’re healthy, you’re so out-of-this-world lucky. Don’t blow it.

Filed under relovingit life advice

65 notes &

Take the money we’re no longer spending at war, use half of it to pay down our debt, and use the rest to do some nation-building right here at home.

President Obama (via iwantcupcakes)

I love the idea of “nation-building” actually meaning ”nation-building.” 

Filed under SOTU

52 notes &

the pantry of an ironman champion

One of the most inspirational people I know is a professional triathlete named Hillary Biscay. This could sound surprising because I don’t do triathlons. Pretty much the only cardio I get is when I wake up in the morning and leap to check Rich and Chelsea’s blogs. The reason I know and adore Hillary is that we grew up together, carpooling to swimming, and she’s been one of my best friends since we were eight.

Normally I am skeptical of athletes and don’t find them inspirational when they talk about how worked hard or didn’t make the Varsity team on the first try, or whatnot. It’s like when models tell you how awkward they were in high school—as if that’s what made them beautiful later—because usually the truth is just that they are genetic wonders, which is actually kind of depressing.

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Filed under food hillary biscay sports cupofchi anarchyandscotch

68 notes &

my uncle don’s review of young adult

Obviously, this blog is NOTHING if not a forum for serious, intellectual discourse.

Recently I wrote a glowing review of the movie Young Adult, which I thought was fantastic. My Uncle Don (pictured above) disagreed, and even took the time to send me his take on the film. 

Once I read his review, I knew had to share it with you, and he gave me the OK.

UNCLE DON’S REVIEW

“This movie was dreadful.  Not believable (thank goodness for that) and just a total zero. Most, save one, of those in her hometown ignore her alcohol addiction, her crusade to destroy a marriage and other anti-social behavior. After less than ten minutes, I was hoping it would end. Awful. 

I did see The Muppet Movie.  Now this is a good movie.”

Filed under young adult viva andy rooney!

58 notes &

the dark side of retail politics

Wouldn’t it be a *trip* to be in South Carolina today? I’m kicking myself for not getting my act together in time to see three of my biggest American stereotypes in one place: Republicans, conservatives, and Southerners!

Lucky for me, South Carolina resident Jim stumbled upon my blog a few weeks ago while googling mall-walking. (“Don’t ask,” he said, but I did anyway. Turns out he was trying to make a joke on Facebook about going to the mall.) The good news is that we traded emails and he explained to me what it’s like in SC these days:

The Repulicans have descended upon our fair state. The primary is this weekend and I, for one—no, based on the Facebook comments I’ve been reading—I, for plenty, will be glad when it is over. I’m averaging 7 to 8 calls a day from various political camps. Lately I’ve been telling them that I’m keeping a log and that the person getting my vote is the one who calls me the least number of times. Then, I make an audible check mark on a scratch piece of paper. 

He even dug up three days’ worth of fliers from the recycling bin to give you a sense of what it’s like: 



THANK YOU JIM!

Filed under politics

77 notes &

Fantasy Me bought this egg kitchen timer to help me cook. But Reality Me bought this because someone said, “well, if you’re serious about not complaining you should buy an egg timer and hold yourself to a limit.” Two days later here we are. Basically I’m a reactive, non-cook who takes things literally.

Fantasy Me bought this egg kitchen timer to help me cook. But Reality Me bought this because someone said, “well, if you’re serious about not complaining you should buy an egg timer and hold yourself to a limit.” Two days later here we are. Basically I’m a reactive, non-cook who takes things literally.

85 notes &

If you had a pillow with Dave Letterman’s face on it, why would you ever drop it into the street? Or is this exactly why, so folks like me can look down on a rainy day and see Dave smiling up at us? (Thank you, Wacko Stranger.)

If you had a pillow with Dave Letterman’s face on it, why would you ever drop it into the street? Or is this exactly why, so folks like me can look down on a rainy day and see Dave smiling up at us? (Thank you, Wacko Stranger.)

Filed under LOL

86 notes &

fat, sick, and nearly dead

If you’d told me when I was a little kid that I’d grow up and be the kind of person who spends $6 on juice, I would’ve hated you. Of course, you would have been right. When you overthink juicing, which obviously I do, it can seem too precious and privileged. No food for me, thanks. I’m cleansing. 


And I swear I was not looking for reasons to rationalize juicing when this weekend I watched Fat Sick, and Nearly Dead. It’s a documentary about two obese men who do a 60-day juice cleanse. They lose over 100 pounds and drastically reduce their cholesterol and blood pressure levels, as well as their dependency on prescription drugs (to treat an auto-immune disease).   

GAWD I LOVE A GOOD TRANSFORMATION STORY! 

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Filed under juicing food

69 notes &

my review of young adult

I was a teensy bit nervous to see the movie Young Adult, especially with my mom. I knew it was about a young woman who writes books using a pseudonym, drinks a lot, and is generally very self-centered. This package describes me a few years ago, possibly describes me today, and I didn’t want Mom to worry or wonder. (Although, for the record, I’ve never tried to ruin a marriage nor have I driven drunk like our heroine Mavis.) Also, I was afraid the whole ghostwriting thing would be a joke, and that these cool Hollywood ladies would make me feel a giant Hello Kitty-fied punchline, and I didn’t want to feel crappy about myself. 

Read more …

Filed under diablo cody movies young adult writers